I've always tried to make my life resemble the movie in my head...

...and tonight - no effort required! Well-ah!
-Blair Waldorf, Gossip Girl

"Blair liked to think of herself as a hopeless romantic in the style of old movie actresses like Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe. She was always coming up with plot devices for the movie she was starring in at the moment, the movie that was her life."
-Cecily von Ziegesar.

And who doesn't do this? [And who isn't a Chuck and Blair fan...

Blair: Last fall you said we couldn't be together, and I believed you. But everytime I try to move on, you're right there, acting like-
Chuck: Acting like what?
Blair: Like...maybe you want me to be as unhappy as you are.
Chuck: I would never wish that on anyone. I want you to be happy.
Blair: Then look down deep, into the soul I know you have, and tell me if what you feel for me is real, or if it's just a game. If it's real, we'll figure it out... But if it's not, then please, Chuck, just let me go.
Chuck: It's just a game. I hate to lose. You're free to go.
Blair: Thank you.
Serena: Chuck, why did you just do that?
Chuck: Because I love her and I can't make her happy.

...although I would be sorely tempted to choose Chace Crawford as my leading man...

So would the movie of your life be a romance, a comedy, a historical drama, an epic? What kind of heroine would you be? What would the soundtrack be? And what would the costume department have in stock?

Audrey Hepburn with Dean Martin and Jerry Lee Lewis

I love this so much.

I think if I could live in any movie, however, it would be Singin' In The Rain. Every moment of it is pure joy.

leaving is not enough; you must
stay gone. train your heart
like a dog. change the locks
even on the house he’s never
visited. you lucky, lucky girl.
you have an apartment
just your size. a bathtub
full of tea. a heart the size
of Arizona, but not nearly
so arid. don’t wish away
your cracked past, your
crooked toes, your problems
are papier mache puppets
you made or bought because the vendor
at the market was so compelling you just
had to have them. you had to have him.
and you did. and now you pull down
the bridge between your houses,
you make him call before
he visits, you take a lover
for granted, you take
a lover who looks at you
like maybe you are magic. make
the first bottle you consume
in this place a relic. place it
on whatever altar you fashion
with a knife and five cranberries.
don’t lose too much weight.
stupid girls are always trying
to disappear as revenge. and you
are not stupid. you loved a man
with more hands than a parade
of beggars, and here you stand. heart
like a four-poster bed. heart like a canvas.
heart leaking something so strong
they can smell it in the street.
-Marty McConnell

A proposito: Il mio amico is playing in the orchestra for the Cambridge Arts Theatre production of My Fair Lady! And, of course, I swiped tickets for the Saturday matinee! Oh, I love this town!

And I love all of you! xx

My Plan B in life is to run a little bakery in Berlin with Polly...

...and we would put the cakes in the oven and sit and read European novels while they baked and talk to all the regulars, and it would be the centre of all the arts and music and people who couldn't afford to perform anywhere else could come and play there... Is it wrong to want my Plan As to fall through?"
-My dearest George

It is a wonderful and achievable daydream, isn't it, to run a sparkles-and-crumbs-style bakery-cum-cafe. I would call mine the Pasticceria, maybe in Paris or Rome or Cambridge...

...like the lovely-beyond-belief ending of No Reservations - out of all the sadness, they set up the little Italian bistro of their dreams together and live happily ever after...

Mine would be like this...

Also, I am so excited! I've never liked my middle name - Louise [it's just so dull! And I know 11 girls with that very middle name!] - and my parents didn't have any special motivation to choose it. So, I have just legally changed my middle name, by deed poll, to Cakewise! A word I coined when I was baking and asked a friend if he wanted "anything? Cakewise?"

I've always been inspired by Gala Darling [for, of course, that isn't her original name!], and she was so right about this:

"In doing all of this, I realised the worth & value of names, & how they shape us as a person. Changing my name really woke me up to how we are in charge of our own destinies, & having a name that was entirely mine made me feel like an intrepid traveller, in a sense. I mean, of course I am my parents’ daughter, but I don’t have their name — or the name they gave me — to hide behind any more. I am me, I stand up for myself, I have my own convictions & goals & for some reason, shaking off the baggage of my old name really crystallised things for me. It’s definitely one of the best things I have ever done for myself. Not to mention, having a name you adore & are proud of makes you feel fabulous."

This morning, I woke up and thought, you are no longer Caroline Louise - you are Caroline Cakewise! The name feels like a character I would love to be. How would Carolina Cakewise act and speak and walk? And, of course, the most fun - what would she wear?

Outfit of the Day:

Cheap blazer by Cutie

Tara Starlet dress

Old green ballet shoes of my Mama's

An Anna Lou of London 'C' necklace - very appropriate, I thought!

I feel more sparkles-and-crumbs than ever...

It's hard not to, strolling around my beloved Cambridge bearing Fitzie's apple pie on social calls, plotting a year's Italiano course at the Language centre and signing up for rock'n'roll dancing classes with George, while the leaves come falling down!

Things only improved this morning when I went into Lush for some bubble bars, and was told that on this very day they have launched a special deal for Freshers' Week, whereby you hand-pick a plethora of delicious products, from soaps to shampoo bars to body scrubs, and it's all packed up neatly for you into a gift box - for a tenner! And they even gave me extra because I was the first customer to buy it, and an invitation to the Lush Christmas product party on Thursday evening! Excitement...

And I love love love these fabulous new fragrances by blandiloquent Benefit cosmetics - my favourite is Something about Sofia. It smells divine, and I love the poem:

She lives in a dream
more dazzling than fiction

imaginary yet real
she defies all prediction

an incredible girl
Sofia draws you right in

to where the everyday ends
"and magic begins..."

How very Cakewise! Love and raspberry jam to you, my acorns - and don't forget...