The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was...

...Lovers don't finally meet somewhere, they're in each other all along.
-Rumi

To me, this picture is love:

Arthur Miller and Marilyn Monroe

When Love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste to the garden.
For even as Love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your heart and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and and shake them in their clinging to the earth...
...All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge becomes a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only Love's peace and Love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of Love's threshing floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears...
-Khalil Gibran

been in and out of love for so many years...

...given out so many tears
that I'm washed up on the shore
seeing you and going 'wow'

the heart is broken
the heart is overcome
and we have spoken
so many late nights
praying that our hearts will find your hands
-Drop Your Guard by Nizlopi

It's been a bit of a grim time, ladies and gents, but there have still been a fair few fairy lights sparking off all around the tunnel!

MAKE YOUR OWN FAIRY-LIGHT MOMENTS:

Listen to Nizlopi's "Make It Happen"

I didn't even realise that beloved Nizlopi had a new album out all the way back in March - but on the very same day I heard the first couple of songs here, I dashed out to rummage for a copy. So very worth it! It's just magical - Amazon reviewed it aptly as "full of feeling and hard to forget... So full of positivity it should be on the National Curriculum or be free-issued to all. It would solve a good number of this nation's ills for sure... Give it a few spins and read the lyrics and there really is depth and feeling and poetry and meaning and hope."

As a taste of the treat in store for you, you can download a gorgeous version of one of my favourites, 'Find Me' - plus recordings of every live show the duo seem to have played - here. It just puts how I'm feeling to music:

confusion's beating a hurricane in my brain
all this searching out for love is making me insane

so I like surrender
up to the will of God
see me searching, skipping, singing
wandering off

find me
sign me up
come and remind me, come and align me, come on and find me

Play a harmless trick (as a treat)

Our companion Richard cruelly changed the new camerado's AutoCorrect settings on Microsoft Word, so that whenever she typed a full stop it automatically changed it to her name followed by a laughing emoticon. She called me upon (eventually!) starting on her essay, convinced that someone was hacking into her computer!


Pull a Jack Penate:

I've got my favourite Westwood coat on
The one from Alice who I dote on
I am a pirate and I float on
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Of course I know that these are all for show
To decorate my limbs and let me know
That through these things a constant love will flow
With them we are not on our own
-Got My Favourite

So things don't always work out how we wish they would - and, in the words of Jason Mraz, it's our turn to learn some instead of win some. But even if no one bought it for you and you are on your own, you can still give yourself a little *constant love* with some cheering *show*, eh? I found this gorgeous dress, handmade by lovely Gemma Eve in the Arts and Crafts market, and it lifts my spirits no end!

It struck me as a more Puck-ish version of this outfit, worn by Marissa in the infamous *Tijauana* episode of The OC; it's a wee bit boring, but I remember thinking the pink and green looked molte benne together!:-

Dress for a favourite song.

It was a ruby that she wore
On a chain around her neck
In the shape of a heart
In the shape of a heart
It was a time I won't forget
For the sorrow and regret
And the shape of a heart
And the shape of a heart
I guess I never knew
What she was talking about
I guess I never knew
What she was living without...
-'In The Shape of a Heart', Jackson Browne

It's not a real ruby, but I did find a crystal heart in blood-red on a silver chain in the aforementioned market:

Stall-holder: "We have other colours, too..."
Me: "Oh, no! I want the ruby one! Jackson Browne? In The Shape Of A Heart...?"
Stall-holder: (Blank expression)
Me: "No...? Oh... could I get it, please?"

Now I can pretend the song was written for me, eh? One could try the same with Pablo Neruda's, "I remember you as you were last autumn. You were the grey beret and the still heart..."

Throw a Disney Night!

Everybody loves old-school Disney! Seek out some of the Nineties classics on Youtube -Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast and The Lion King are all fail-safe - stock up on Ribena, Pom-Bears and biscuits, and revert back to your childhood.

Live and learn...

"All feelings that concentrate you and lift you up are pure; only that feeling is impure which grasps just one side of your being and thus distorts you. Everything you can think of as you face your childhood, is good. Everything that makes more of you than you have ever been, even in your best hours, is right. Every intensification is good, if it is in your entire blood, if it isn't intoxication or muddiness, but joy which you can see into, clear to the bottom." -Rilke

My "you look very cute - and not at all hungover!" jumper from Lazy Oaf

...And forgive yourself for any mishaps along the way.

Have a Marilyn Moment:

I wore this for a hot chocolate break with a certain someone outside of King's College, and the winds were billowing the skirt out all the way along the cobblestones!


Find a favourite word - here's mine, care of Gala Darling...

And a new favourite scent for the new season! Mine is Let Them Eat Cake. Strictly speaking, it's a lip balm, but it's absolutely scrumptious - orange peel and lemons and vanilla and plums and currants and just a touch of sherry and treacle! One reaction: "It's not fair! You're making me hungry!"


Send a love letter. Anonymously, if you haven't quite got the gumption yet. Why is this tradition dying out?! Of course, a picture can be worth a thousand overwrought and unecessary words, so print off one of these sweeties and slip it into the beloved's bag when no one's looking:






Follow these wise words from Chailin:

origami stars. skeleton keys. charms. butterfly wings. dried flowers. lockets hiding secrets. decaying wooden structures. tea cups. journals bound with twine. wax seals. glittering stardust. nests. cocoons. faerie lights. pressed flowers. windows mapping the globe. through the looking glass. endless fields. attics.
& always leave your window open.

Finally, have a frightfully fabulous Hallowe'en! No one is ever too old for trick-or-treating, or carving out pumpkin lanterns. I even went on a Hallowe'en punt down the Cam yesterday - they gave us hot water bottles and told us of the various college ghosts and hauntings by the light of the waning moon! And to celebrate the student loan finally coming in, I got these little babies; surprisingly comfy for a 13cm heel, and most timely, I thought!

In the days before rock and roll

"True love and high adventure. I believed in that once. I thought my life was going to follow that path. Prayed that it would. Obviously it didn't, but I don't think there's high adventure left anymore. Nobody takes out a sword nowadays and cries, "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father; prepare to die!"

-William Goldman

"In what should have been our day..." The camerado and I adopted this phrase on our travels, to give voice to our Old Romantic longing for the great and glorious past!

And what could be more great and glorious than the Golden Age of Hollywood?

1. How many stars can you spot?
2. The Rat Pack
3. Matinee idol Robert Taylor - pulling magic tricks in the 1938 Broadway Melody
4. Fabulous Ella Fitzgerald
5. Cecil Beaton's "Young Women in Fancy Dresses"
6. Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly at the Oscars
7. Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell make their handprints at Mann's Chinese Theater
8. Leslie Caron in An American In Paris
9. Cecil Beaton again!
10. Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall
11. Scene from Broadway Melody
12. Audrey Hepburn Italian magazine cover for Roman Holiday
13. Marilyn Monroe on the set of How To Marry A Millionaire
14. Carey Grant and Grace Kelly
15. The Lady Vanishes
16. Grace Kelly advertisement for champagne
17. The lovely Greg Peck

Continuing in this old school spirit, how wonderful is this?:-

"The Dior formal gown was purchased for me by my parents in 1949 from a lovely store named [?]evys. My parents surprised me with this gown for my debut -- which was an afternoon tea. It was the only time the gown has ever been worn, just once! The gown is from Christian Dior's mid-century collection and the name of the collection at that time was Venus. I hope that you will find as much pleasure and happiness in owning this beautiful gown as I have had from owning it over the years. The store orwner at that time called it 'a work of art.'"

The gown was, in fact, commissioned by the orginal owner's parents in Paris as the most "exquisite, so meticulously worked down to the dtails of the sequins" copy Vintage Griffin has ever seen: "Whomever wore this would absolutely be the centre of attention, making an impact without even trying. Its gentle, yet regal sculpted form is somewhere between fairytale princess and uncontested empress. The perfect balance between grace and strength, beauty and classicism."

Current inspiration for an air of elegance and innocence is this Oscar De La Renta dress from his Resort collection, which I first saw worn by Jennifer Lopez on a shoot with the designer in Elle:

And on the catwalk:

Cavalli's got the idea, too:

The heroine of the hour, however, is the Marchesa Luisa Casati:

Elle describes her as "the Belle Epoque Italian aristocrat known for walking the streets of Paris naked beneath her furs, with her pair of pet cheetahs on diamond leashes. For the first three decades of the 20th century, this femme fatale, all green eyes, flame hair and vermillion lips, cut a swathe through European high society evoking outrage and devotion in equal measure. A hedonistic whirlwind, she was attended by nude servants gilded in gold leaf... (and) had wax mannequins as guests at dinner, rumoured to contain the ashes of former lovers." She even owned a palace in Venice!

"The Marchesa lived partly as a slave to her dream world. She had two venues: her palaces and her aristocratic circles. They served as stages where everyone was usually an actor, but when she made her entrance, they automatically became spectators or background extras."
– Alberto Martini

Georgina Chapman named her marvellous Marchesa label after her, fittingly enough; style.com described the Fall show in New York as "glamour with a capital G... A young retail consultant walked out sighing, 'Don't these dresses just make you want to be a fairy princess?' Or one better: How about an Oscar-nominated actress? They have a better chance of wearing these dresses—if they call their stylists soon, that is."

The original Marchesa would have been proud! And I love this picture of Georgina Chapman with Jennifer Lopez, again on the Elle shoot:

The world is narrowed and ways our short, and our lives are dull and slow,
For little is new where the crowds resort, and less where the wanderers go;
Greater or smaller, the same old things we see by the dull roadside -
And tired of all is the spirit that sings of the days when the world was wide...

They sailed away in the ships that sailed ere science controlled the main,
When the strong brave heart of a man prevailed as 'twill never prevail again;
They knew not wither, nor much they cared - let fate or the winds decide -
The worst of the Great Unknown they dared, in the days when the world was wide...

South, East and West in advance of time, and ay! in advance of thought,
Those brave men rose to a height sublime - and is it for this they fought?
And is it for this damned life we praise the god-like spirit that died
At Eureka Stockade in the Roaring Days with the days when the world was wide?

We fight like blaggarts and feel as much; the thoughts of our hearts we guard;
Where scarcely the scorn of a god could touch, the sneer of a sneak hits hard;
The treacherous tongue and the cowardly pen, the weapons of curs, decide -
They faced each other and fought like men in the days when the world was wide.

Boast as you will of your mateship now - crippled and mean and sly -
The lines of suspicion on friendship's brow were traced since the days gone by.
There was room in the long, free lines of the van to fight for it side by side -
There was beating room for the heart of a man in the days when the world was wide.

With its dull brown days of a shilling-an-hour the dreary year drags round;
Is this the result of Old England's power? The bourne of the Outward Bound?
Is this the sequel of Westward Ho? Of the days of Whate'er Betide?
The heart of the rebel makes answer, "NO! We'll fight till the world grows wide!"
-Henry Lawson

Goethe would have abhorred such sentiment: his proponent Kaufmann believes that, "The fragmentation and ugliness of the modern world is undeniable. What needs to be denied is that the world of Dante and Shakespeare was less ugly, crude and cruel. Greatness is possible, but exceptional, at all times... The values of the mass are always hollow... The hero belongs to, and lives in, a world of which the other characters have no inkling."

After all, it's certainly not all ugly! I was wandering past John's College in the golden autumn sunshine on Saturday and ended up in the Arts and Crafts market in All Saint's Garden - my word, it was fabulous! Everything - including some incredible dresses - was handmade by independent designers. Emma Loves Apples does the cutest jewellery ever, and Hairy Growler sold gorgeous pendants with beautiful patterns carved into old penny pieces. Without a doubt, though, Jessica Betts' was my favourite stall - just look at her creations!:

And if that doesn't lift the spirits, a cosmic answer to my feminist fervour does: Germaine Greer is coming to the Cambridge Union to head a debate on sexism within the University!

"Remember, life is in the right - always." -Rilke

It may well be the mark of the great poet that he goes beyond mirroring the damage and creates a perspective in which it is transcended

My feminist ire is well and truly irked!! This evening my new camerado and I went to the college bar for some cider and a chat with some new people. We were just bewildered to find all of the guys clad in tweed suits and red bow ties, and the only freshers present a few scantily-clad girls at the falling-over stages of inebriation. We soon learned that this was the Men's Drinking Club's *Kittens* Night - the blokes invite the 19 *fittest* freshers to turn up in sex-kitten-themed ensembles, ply them with alcohol and then sit back and take advantage. Just... appalling. These are supposedly amongst the brightest, most intelligent young men and women in the country? I weep for humanity...

FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT:

• Shameless is the online counterpart of the Canadian magazine - check out the blog, and click on 'Archive of Back Issues' to read past articles.
• Object for London-based activism
• Twisty's I Blame The Patriarchy is brilliant
• The F Word blog is still *the cherry on top of the RAGE torte* for me - this article is especially good reading. Every word rings tragically true!

So many frogs, all too few princes, eh...?

Prince In The Making by Lauren*star

I'm up for some escapism from the tyranny of the harlots and the knaves, Facebook and Rohypnol! What more fabulous means than the frivolity of a fairy-tale?

"My wardrobe is chaos. It's the stuff of dreams. I buy clothes because I imagine one day I'll need a dress to have cocktails at the embassy or to go to a nightclub in South America. It's like they're from a film, I feel like I live in films."
-Roisin Murphy

The importance of fashion is to make one dream a little, to soften one's imperfections.
-Valentino

First up for the dreaming: Nina Ricci ran an online competition with Elle as part of its fairy-tale-esque campaign for the Nina fragrance. The prize went to the best 'modern-day fantasy', and in my opinion this was it (yet it didn't even finalise! The web site has since been taken down, and I didn't make a note of the author - let me know if you recognise it!):

"Resplendent in a magenta silk gown, I am twirled around the dancefloor by the handsome Prince at the Palace ball. Amidst the envious gaze of the onlooking glitterati we spin across the floor and down the steps into the garden. I kick off my shoes as we run through the lush dewy grass and into a circle of willow trees waving in the wind. There in the centre is a white stone tower. The Prince opens the heavy wooden door with an iron key. Laughing, we race up the winding steps to the top, and there is a room filled with boxes of shimmering gems. "Pick one," says the Prince, "any you want." I stare around the room, then reach out and pluck a big red ruby that sparkles in my hands. "But of course," says my Prince, "you have taken my heart."

The exquisite Annie Leibovitz has also shot Rachel Weisz and Scarlett Johannson for the divine Disney Dream Portrait Series:

NYLON magazine: "You may not live in a fairy-tale castle, but you can dress like you do."

Tim Walker

Take heart from Bee Shaffer's Nina Ricci number at this year's Costume Institute Gala:

A dress to build a dream on indeed! And just look at these confectionaries from Max Chaoul's new collection! Amanda Harlech described wearing a couture dress made especially for her as akin to "slipping something on which fits like you're diving into water. There's no bit that catches and you can move in it. That's what's extraordinary. It's like wearing elastic. It's really practical... (Couture should be worn) like a T-shirt and jeans." Oh, if only!

PARA BUTTERFLY by *Gabriela*

"All the other girls here are stars, you are the Northern Lights
They try to shine in through your curtain, you're too close and too bright
They try and they but everything that they do is the ghost of a trace of a pale imitation of you..." -'Kathleen,' Josh Ritter

"Neither evil tongues, rash judgements, nor the sneers of selfish men, nor greetings where no kindness is, nor all the dreary intercourse of daily life shall e'er prevail against us, or disturb our cheerful faith, that all which we behold is full of blessings. Therefore let the moon shine on thee in thy solitary walk... "
-William Wordsworth

(Speaking of cheerful faith, nothing restores it like chocolate brownie birthday cake and a spontaneous cuddle.)

the Hug by luvdogz3 (BUSY!!)

Of speckled eggs the birdie sings, and nests among the trees;

The sailor sings of ropes and things
In ships upon the sea.

The children sing in far Japan,
The children sing in Spain;
The organ with the organ man
Is singing in the rain.

~R L Stevenson

It's been raining in Cambridge...

Art Gallery by Suburbhater - almost caught up

... and I have full-blown Freshers' flu.

Belgian Chocolates by Ragdolly (is busy with school)

That's what I've been wondering, except I have no little dog to ponder with! I'm having one of my grey afternoons and feeling confused, lonely and a bit overwhelmed.

(And I'm not used to playing games)

Not to mention ill and poor! Until my student loan comes in, I'm living as a true impoverished intellectual, only not very intellectual - I've spent all of my money on more Quality Streets to sellotape to my wellingtons (people keep eating them when I offer - Richard: "Look at you! You're a nutter! Only in Cambridge would you be considered *quirky* instead of mad - in any other town you'd be stoned out!") and tickets to see Frankie Boyle be even more politically incorrect live than he is on Mock The Week come November. Exciting! So, after some languishing in bed with some hot soup, I shall:

Play the game... SMILE <3>by MarisaLuvsJared

This just warms the heart almost as much as thick Cioccolato Milanos from Caffe Nero, doesn't it? And this has given me hope:

Alternatively, I shall just stick out my foot and offer them a sweetie.



And I'll Tell My Deepest Secrets by eransom

Learning To Breathe by eransom